Gym Celebrity

When I got back from my trip to Savannah last week my first order of business was getting back to my gym routine. I didn’t want to fall off the wagon, which is why I went spinning at 6 am the morning we left for the trip and why I used the hotel gym on Wednesday while my boyfriend slept in. When we got back to Orlando on Thursday though, I was exhausted and my feet were covered in blisters from all the walking we did. I still felt exhausted on Friday, so I didn’t go then either.  Saturday, though, was a must-go day. I knew I couldn’t skip Saturday.

Before I headed to Body Pump on Saturday I tweeted and made a Facebook status update about how it was my first day back to the gym in four days and how I hoped they greeted me with hugs and party favors and cake. I was serious totally joking. But listen to this.

There were no hugs or party favors, or cake, surprisingly enough, but when I lay down on the bench for chest presses I noticed some stray balloons up in the rafters in the Fitnasium where Body Pump is held. That was curious. Then on my way out, one of the trainers stopped me and said “Hey! Why haven’t I seen you all week?” I told her I had been out of town and she said “Well, we missed you!”

I was pleased. I felt like it was a true indication of how dedicated I am to my workouts that I was missed after being gone for only four days. THEN IT HAPPENED AGAIN!

Yesterday I showed up for spinning and first, the woman who was swiping membership cards took mine and said “Hey Jaclyn,” without looking at my card. I was surprised that she knew my name. Then I passed the spinning instructor on my way up the stairs and she said “I missed you last week, where were you?!” I told her I had been in Savannah and she said she was glad to have me back.

When I first started going to the Y almost a year and a half ago I noticed, with great interest, the interesting dynamic between people who were clearly frequent exercisers and the trainers. I never thought I’d be one of those people who was known by name and frequency. Until last year when I started at the Y, I had never stuck with a gym program for more than a few weeks. Now I’m so seasoned I’m known by name and missed when I’m gone!

I’ve decided that being known by name at the gym is a true measure of success. I rule.

I’m also taking a rest day. I hit it hard the last four days and now I feel like the Tin Man.

They better miss me.

The Real Reason You Should Get In Shape

Last night my boyfriend and I went to see Super 8. We both enjoyed the movie and I was glad that I hadn’t really read anything about it. I had no expectations whatsoever and I was pleased with the results. That being said, though I was engrossed in the story and the action for most of the film, one thing kept turning over and over in my mind:

If I was in this situation, would I be in good enough shape to run for miles without stopping and escape the monster?

Years ago when I first started watching LOST (another JJ Abrams production), I was not in nearly as good of shape as I am now, and I remember having a conversation with my best friend about how we would definitely both be dead if we had survived the plane crash and landed on the island.  I mean, come on, scaling huge island mountains, chasing down wild boar, escaping loose polar bears, and running from the Others, or worse, the Smoke Monster—there was no way I would have made it longer than a week. I just didn’t have the body strength for it.

But I think I do now.

"How did she escape my wrath?! She must have incredible endurance from all that spinning and Body Pump!"

Sometimes when I think about zombies (which is more often than you might think), I consider what my options would be and if I would be able to get myself and my cats to a safe shelter without having our brains eaten. If they were 28 Days Later zombies, I think my chances would be slim, because although I have some endurance, I don’t run very fast. But if they were Shaun of the Dead zombies, I think I could run fast enough to get away or swing a bat or other blunt object hard enough to kill a few zombies. I also think my body could take a bit of a beating from things like jumping over fences (which I think I could do in an extreme situation), rolling on the ground to avoid something swinging at me (ditto), and with enough adrenaline, I think I could kick pretty hard.

"Damn, she must work out. Look at her go!"

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The conclusion I’ve come up with is that everyone should get into shape if for no other reason than being able to survive a monster movie-esque attack on society. You never know when it could happen. You need to be ready to run, ready to fight, and ready to survive. All you have is the strength of your body and your wits! You’re really gambling if you’re relying on wits alone. Being in shape is essential for survival!

Unless you're far too lovable to die. Then things will just work themselves out.

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Next time you feel like skipping the gym or shying away from something you haven’t tried before, like a weight lifting class or a spinning session, think about what would happen if we were suddenly under attack and needed to run the fuck away or fight.  Just think about it.

"Should have gotten off the couch, slowpoke."

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The only time I feel like my wits would serve me better than my strength is in a situation with attractive vampires. As we all know, they’re way too fast to really escape them, but if you can intrigue or interest them enough, you might have a chance of living as a sex slave or an informant or something—at least for awhile.

There are worse fates in life.

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Ugly vampires always seem to be really stupid, so outrunning or outsmarting them might be viable options. I guess I’d need to test the theory.

At any rate, you better get in shape, and soon. Danger lurks around every corner.

Happy Gymniversary!

I did it!  I’ve been going to the gym consistently for a whole year!

A year ago, Chiara and I joined the Y and started going together and we’ve kept it up all year long.  I remember when we first went.  She talked me into trying Zumba, and I hated it with a fiery passion that consumed my soul.  I started spinning that week and I’ve gone consistently 2-4 times a week for the whole year.  I don’t even know how many miles I’ve logged!  Chiara and I tried out a bunch of different classes and found ones we both liked. She still goes to Zumba alone, and I still go to spinning alone, but we’ve logged many hours in Next Level, Power Yoga, and Boot Camp together. This is the longest either one of us has ever stuck with a gym program! We fucking rule.

Happy Gymniversay, Chi Chi!

P.S. Happy Gymniversary to our mysterious gym buddy who always wears the same clothes and is in every single gym class, who never seems to put any actual effort into the workouts.  We’re fascinated by you.  What makes you tick?

Working It Out: Exercising BEFORE The Buttcrack of Dawn

Last Friday, for no reason at all other than that the Universe hates me, I woke up at 5:20 am and couldn’t go back to sleep.  I was just up.  I opened my eyes and I was awake.  It was so weird.  I have trouble going to sleep at night, but I never have trouble staying asleep and it’s usually pretty difficult for me to wake up.  But there I was, 5:20 am, and I was just awake.  I got up, washed my face, brushed my teeth, kind of looked around, shrugged, and decided to go to the gym because I had nothing to do for three hours.

I knew there was a 6 am spinning class on Friday because I’ve looked at the schedule before and thought, “There’s no way anyone goes to that class.  Why do they even have classes that early?  People aren’t awake at that time unless they have to drive someone to the airport.  What a waste of gym resources.” But I decided to go anyway, and I figured that the worst that could happen is that I would show up and no one would be there and I’d just go home and sit on the couch until it was time to get ready for work at 8:30.

My projected morning.

I drove to the gym in the dark, which was surprisingly calming, and walked in expecting the place to be deserted.  Instead, it was PACKED TO THE MAX!  There’s a whole different breed of people who work out in the mornings and they’re serious.  It totally blew my mind.  I checked in, walked toward the stairs to the spin room, and marveled at the sheer number of people crowding the place and the steady buzz of  machines, coffee grinding, talking, laughing, and music.  The second level was the same.  The place was busier than it is the day after Thanksgiving when everyone is filled to the brim with giblets and self-loathing.

"What? I'm going to the gym in a hot minute. It'll be fine."

I made my way to the spinning room through the sea of people and THE ENTIRE ROOM WAS FULL.  Luckily there was one bike left—one!—and I got it. You know what that means?

I went spinning at 6 am on a Friday morning and I didn’t die.

After spinning, I was able to go home, shower, cook a real breakfast, make my bed, blow dry my hair, put makeup on carefully instead of like a drunk clown, and I even made it to work on time!

And hell froze over.

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Though I was tired and a little hungrier than usual, I kept experiencing bursts of joy and relief when I realized my workout was already finished for the day and that I didn’t have to rush home to change and then race to the gym to get a spot in a class.  I was also really pleased that I’d had all that time in the morning to get stuff done and that I didn’t have to rush around to get ready.  I actually had a nice leisurely morning after my workout before I went in to work.  It was really just a win-win-win.

So, I decided that maybe there was something to this AM workout thing.  I tried it several months ago and it didn’t stick, but now that I have a more flexible schedule and work from home a lot, it seems a lot more doable to do it two days a week instead of five.  If I just do the morning workouts before work on the two days a week I go to my office in the morning, then I’ll consider myself a glorious success and greatness will shine upon me and golden unicorns will take me to work and I’ll eat rainbows for breakfast.

Or, y'know, I'll stay in bed and go back to my rushed schedule. I managed.

This morning I forced myself up at 5:45 am and made it to 6 am yoga on time.  Luckily, once I get up, I’m up.  I can really just get up and go, which I know a lot of people struggle with.  I don’t drink coffee, so I don’t need a caffeine fix, and punctuality isn’t one of my strong suits, so I’ve definitely adapted an ability to get ready at lightening speed.  As long as my face is washed, my teeth are brushed, and I have a banana in me (hehehe) I’m good to go.

I’m sticking to some of my afternoon workouts because I like the instructors and classes offered in the afternoons, but on those work days I should just get it done as early as possible.  I’m planning on trying out Boot Camp on Friday morning at 5:45.  I’M A MACHINE!

What’s your favorite time of day to work out?  Can you believe people actually get up and go to the gym before the sun comes up?  Do you think I can do it?  Let’s talk!