Gym Celebrity

When I got back from my trip to Savannah last week my first order of business was getting back to my gym routine. I didn’t want to fall off the wagon, which is why I went spinning at 6 am the morning we left for the trip and why I used the hotel gym on Wednesday while my boyfriend slept in. When we got back to Orlando on Thursday though, I was exhausted and my feet were covered in blisters from all the walking we did. I still felt exhausted on Friday, so I didn’t go then either.  Saturday, though, was a must-go day. I knew I couldn’t skip Saturday.

Before I headed to Body Pump on Saturday I tweeted and made a Facebook status update about how it was my first day back to the gym in four days and how I hoped they greeted me with hugs and party favors and cake. I was serious totally joking. But listen to this.

There were no hugs or party favors, or cake, surprisingly enough, but when I lay down on the bench for chest presses I noticed some stray balloons up in the rafters in the Fitnasium where Body Pump is held. That was curious. Then on my way out, one of the trainers stopped me and said “Hey! Why haven’t I seen you all week?” I told her I had been out of town and she said “Well, we missed you!”

I was pleased. I felt like it was a true indication of how dedicated I am to my workouts that I was missed after being gone for only four days. THEN IT HAPPENED AGAIN!

Yesterday I showed up for spinning and first, the woman who was swiping membership cards took mine and said “Hey Jaclyn,” without looking at my card. I was surprised that she knew my name. Then I passed the spinning instructor on my way up the stairs and she said “I missed you last week, where were you?!” I told her I had been in Savannah and she said she was glad to have me back.

When I first started going to the Y almost a year and a half ago I noticed, with great interest, the interesting dynamic between people who were clearly frequent exercisers and the trainers. I never thought I’d be one of those people who was known by name and frequency. Until last year when I started at the Y, I had never stuck with a gym program for more than a few weeks. Now I’m so seasoned I’m known by name and missed when I’m gone!

I’ve decided that being known by name at the gym is a true measure of success. I rule.

I’m also taking a rest day. I hit it hard the last four days and now I feel like the Tin Man.

They better miss me.

Back on the Horse

Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

I’m back to my routine after my two week hiatus from real life while my friend, Nicole, was visiting. The hiatus included a lot of food, a lot of drink, sleeping in, Harry Potter mania, and a week off from the gym. I didn’t plan on taking a week off from the gym, but I got sick, then was out of town for three days for a wedding, then was spending the little free time I had on a freelance project, and I was trying to keep up with my work since I technically was not on vacation, I just wasn’t in the office.

Anyway, a week off from the gym is too long. I can tell you that for sure. Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Yesterday I got up at 4:15 am to take Nicole to the airport, then I drove straight to the gym and did an hour of Body Pump at 5:45 am before work. It wasn’t so bad since my muscles were nice and relaxed from a whole week off. However, later in the day I started feeling it. Ohhh, I started feeling it. By the time I got home from work I was super sore, but I had to finish painting the doors in my apartment because Nicole and I had started the day before and I wanted to get it done so I could clean my house. I didn’t get to make dinner until 8:30 and by the time I finally collapsed into bed I was so sore and tired I COULDN’T SLEEP!  Don’t you hate that? Not to mention painting is a workout in itself. Oh, my aching triceps!

I woke up super sore, but hey, I’m back on the horse. I forced myself awake and went to a class called Cardio Interval this morning, which as far as I could tell is pretty much the same as Boot Camp but with fewer weights and more squats. Oh, the squats! I’ve been squatting my ass off.   It’s good for me though. At the very least, I feel motivated to get back into a good routine.

My friend Mark jokes that when he doesn’t feel like working out he just imagines me saying “You can’t skip a day! You skip one day, then you skip another, and before you know it you’ve been without exercise for two months and you’re butt-deep in a pint of Ben and Jerry’s.” I may have ad-libbed that a bit, but it’s what I tell myself when I feel like skipping a planned workout. I’m not beating myself up for taking a week off because I had a great time. My muscles are, though.

Advice: Don’t take a week off. You’ll pay.

Working It Out: Goals For April

It’s April 5th and I’m totally late with my goals, but it’s not my fault.  I had a hard drive crash. Why, God, why?!?!?!

Go ahead PC fans. Judge.

Luckily, my Macbook actually belongs to my job, so they’re taking care of fixing it.  I also backed up my files on Time Machine recently (I think), so here’s to hoping I didn’t screw that up.  I also had the busiest weekend in the history of the Universe, so I didn’t even realize that my hard drive problems were serious until I got to work this morning and had to sit around for three hours staring at the ceiling before bullying the IT department into giving me a loaner.

Anyway, last month I bragged about being at the beach in March.  This month has been on the wet side—we had torrential downpours and tornado warnings last week and today was gray and ugly.  Saturday, however, was absolutely perfect, so I spent it at the beach.  I love it when that happens.

 

Okay, okay, let’s get to the goals, shall we?

In March I resolved to learn how to cook new things, to stretch before and after workouts, to try some new gym classes, and to cut out TV as background noise.

I’ve definitely gotten the hang of cooking meats.  I bought myself a meat thermometer and a meat hammer and everything.

Wait, it's not called a meat hammer?

I also made a killer Greek omelet.  Just sayin’.

I did pretty well with stretching before and after workouts at first, but I got a little lazy toward the end.  I honestly didn’t feel a big difference when I was doing it, so I kind of forgot.  Whoops!

I tried new gym classes! I started going to a Cardio Strength/Dance class (even though I’m totally not coordinated and I look like a leprechaun with a vodka habit and a bum hip when I try to do the moves), I started going to Pilates when I was able to, and I started going to Boot Camp!  Boot Camp is at 5:45 am on Fridays and it is ROUGH.  Technically I started Boot Camp on April 1st, but we’ll let that one slide because I’m the boss around here and I make the rules.  My heart was in the right place.  This was a good one because now I’m pretty much doing something different every day, which is great for muscle confusion and it helps fight boredom at the gym.

I was AWESOME at cutting out TV as background noise. It was so much easier than I thought it would be.  I just didn’t turn the TV on during the day, listened to music all day instead, and found myself feeling a lot less erratic during my work hours.  It feels really good and I’m planning on continuing to keep the TV off during the day—I highly suggest it.  I’ve even started avoiding it some evenings and it’s been fine.  I’m considering canceling my cable.  I don’t think I’d miss it.

Onto April!

Forward, ho!

Goal #1: Stop using eating out as an excuse to carb it up. I’m great about cooking on the weekdays and preparing excellent breakfasts and lunches that revolve around fruits, vegetables, protein, and healthy fat, especially since I had my consultation with Leah back in February and she recommended that I cut way back on carbs and sugar and pump up the protein.  However, I’ve noticed that I get a little too lax when I go out to eat, which I often do on the weekends because really, who the fuck wants to cook on the weekends?  Now that I’m eating meat there’s really no reason for me to eat restaurant food that’s loaded with white carbs.  Hold the bread, please.

Goal #2: Continue this early morning exercise thing at least until the end of April. Last week I gave working out at the buttcrack of dawn a try and I wrote about it because I truly enjoy getting my exercise out of the way super early on my full work days.  However, waking up at 5:15 am is NOT easy and I’m definitely really beat during the day.  However, I know it takes three weeks to form a habit, so I’m determined to keep up with 6 am yoga on Tuesdays and 5:45 am on Fridays for the month of April.  Hopefully, it will stick!

Goal #3: Give gluten-free a try for a week. I have several friends who have gone gluten-free and have felt much better as a result.  I’ve noticed that I sometimes get stomachaches after eating particularly carby meals.  I don’t necessarily think I’m gluten-intolerant, but I think that like most people, I have a tendency to overeat carbs.  I eat pretty reasonable portions of protein, fruits, and vegetables, and healthy fats, but carbs are SO easy to overeat because they’re all doughy and soft and warm…but no!  I’m going to give gluten-free a try for a week to see how it feels.  I need to plan accordingly because I have a lot of events coming up in April!

Goal #4: Declutter my home and my mind. I have a lot of junk to get rid of in my closets and in my head.  I’m going to do some spring cleaning in both and I think it’ll feel really good.  I wish Niecy Nash would come help me out.  She’s my dream celebrity best friend.

 

"Stop the foolishness!"

 

That’s April for me.  What are your goals for April?

 

 

Working It Out: Exercising BEFORE The Buttcrack of Dawn

Last Friday, for no reason at all other than that the Universe hates me, I woke up at 5:20 am and couldn’t go back to sleep.  I was just up.  I opened my eyes and I was awake.  It was so weird.  I have trouble going to sleep at night, but I never have trouble staying asleep and it’s usually pretty difficult for me to wake up.  But there I was, 5:20 am, and I was just awake.  I got up, washed my face, brushed my teeth, kind of looked around, shrugged, and decided to go to the gym because I had nothing to do for three hours.

I knew there was a 6 am spinning class on Friday because I’ve looked at the schedule before and thought, “There’s no way anyone goes to that class.  Why do they even have classes that early?  People aren’t awake at that time unless they have to drive someone to the airport.  What a waste of gym resources.” But I decided to go anyway, and I figured that the worst that could happen is that I would show up and no one would be there and I’d just go home and sit on the couch until it was time to get ready for work at 8:30.

My projected morning.

I drove to the gym in the dark, which was surprisingly calming, and walked in expecting the place to be deserted.  Instead, it was PACKED TO THE MAX!  There’s a whole different breed of people who work out in the mornings and they’re serious.  It totally blew my mind.  I checked in, walked toward the stairs to the spin room, and marveled at the sheer number of people crowding the place and the steady buzz of  machines, coffee grinding, talking, laughing, and music.  The second level was the same.  The place was busier than it is the day after Thanksgiving when everyone is filled to the brim with giblets and self-loathing.

"What? I'm going to the gym in a hot minute. It'll be fine."

I made my way to the spinning room through the sea of people and THE ENTIRE ROOM WAS FULL.  Luckily there was one bike left—one!—and I got it. You know what that means?

I went spinning at 6 am on a Friday morning and I didn’t die.

After spinning, I was able to go home, shower, cook a real breakfast, make my bed, blow dry my hair, put makeup on carefully instead of like a drunk clown, and I even made it to work on time!

And hell froze over.

Source

Though I was tired and a little hungrier than usual, I kept experiencing bursts of joy and relief when I realized my workout was already finished for the day and that I didn’t have to rush home to change and then race to the gym to get a spot in a class.  I was also really pleased that I’d had all that time in the morning to get stuff done and that I didn’t have to rush around to get ready.  I actually had a nice leisurely morning after my workout before I went in to work.  It was really just a win-win-win.

So, I decided that maybe there was something to this AM workout thing.  I tried it several months ago and it didn’t stick, but now that I have a more flexible schedule and work from home a lot, it seems a lot more doable to do it two days a week instead of five.  If I just do the morning workouts before work on the two days a week I go to my office in the morning, then I’ll consider myself a glorious success and greatness will shine upon me and golden unicorns will take me to work and I’ll eat rainbows for breakfast.

Or, y'know, I'll stay in bed and go back to my rushed schedule. I managed.

This morning I forced myself up at 5:45 am and made it to 6 am yoga on time.  Luckily, once I get up, I’m up.  I can really just get up and go, which I know a lot of people struggle with.  I don’t drink coffee, so I don’t need a caffeine fix, and punctuality isn’t one of my strong suits, so I’ve definitely adapted an ability to get ready at lightening speed.  As long as my face is washed, my teeth are brushed, and I have a banana in me (hehehe) I’m good to go.

I’m sticking to some of my afternoon workouts because I like the instructors and classes offered in the afternoons, but on those work days I should just get it done as early as possible.  I’m planning on trying out Boot Camp on Friday morning at 5:45.  I’M A MACHINE!

What’s your favorite time of day to work out?  Can you believe people actually get up and go to the gym before the sun comes up?  Do you think I can do it?  Let’s talk!

Working It Out: My Favorite Workouts

People constantly tell me that they hate gyms and that they don’t understand how I get the motivation to go work out almost every day and so consistently.  The first thing I tell them is that I don’t really have a choice–either I work it out, or I watch someone else eat a piece of blueberry pie and I turn into Violet Bearuregarde.

It's true.

The second thing I tell them is that for me to stay motivated and consistent, I had to find exercises I don’t absolutely loathe.  It took some trial and error–when I first joined the Y almost a year ago, I quickly discovered how much I hate doing anything that requires an ounce of rhythm (like Zumba), because I have none.  I get overly concerned with trying to do everything right, I can’t keep up, I get self-conscious, and I end up just looking like a drunk, messed up Oompa Loompa performing an Irish jig.

"What are you trying to say?"

During the trial and error process, I discovered that my favorite exercises are one that are well-structured in segments and that allow me to sit down sometimes.  Really!  The other day I realized that all of my favorite exercises have floor segments (or, in spinning, first position sitting) that take momentary bits of the load off.

Now, it’s not that I like exercises that allow me to sit down because I’m lazy–quite the contrary. I like the exercises that have floor or sitting segments because they’re always more strength-focused and as we all know by now (I hope), building strength is key for maintaining a healthy body weight.  Rachel’s post about how you must strength train, even if you are fat, is my favorite blog post that covers this issue.

Think about it–when you run on the treadmill, put in a 30 minute session on the elliptical, shake it in a Zumba class, or grind it in a hip hop dancing class, you’re pretty much doing pure cardio, which is great and it’s necessary, but you’re not really building much strength at all.  You’ll never find me in any dance-oriented cardio class because I just don’t have the rhythm (remember, drunk Oompa Loompa), and while I did a lot of treadmill running in preparation for my first 5k and will hop on the elliptical here and there, I’d much rather combine my cardio and strength or focus purely on strength in my workouts. 

These are the exercise classes I discovered work best for me:

1.  Spinning: Spinning seems to be one of those love-it-or-hate-it exercises.  It’s hard, it’s in the dark, you get drenched in sweat, the music is loud, and there’s usually an instructor yelling, so people tend to get intimidated by it the first time they go.  But it’s for all those reasons that I love spinning and why it works for me.  I love classroom environments, which is why I almost always go to classes instead of working out on my own.  I thrive when I have the ability to see how to do things correctly and I’m motivated by working out with other people.  Spinning is so structured and while it’s an amazing cardio blast, it also builds some serious strength in the legs and glutes. It is recommended that you try spinning at least three times before you decide you absolutely hate it.  I find that the instructor makes all the difference for me.  If I don’t like the instructor I usually have a really bad ride, so I only go to instructors I like.  Simple enough.  Spinning also helps keep me up to date with all of the popular music I wouldn’t otherwise know, which in turn helps me know what’s going on when I’m in gay dance clubs.

"Everybody take it off!"

It was ’80s night.  I don’t always rock a side ponytail, although I probably should.

2.  Les Mills Body Pump: Body Pump is a 60 minute barbell-based weight training class that challenges all of the major muscle groups in the body.  Before I started Body Pumping, I’d walk by the classes and think “I could never do that.”  I eventually got up the courage to give it a try and I loved it right away.  Body Pump is structured, challenging, and I GET TO LAY DOWN! Chest, triceps, and abs are mostly done on the back, and the class is structured to load up opposing muscle groups so that you can actually get through each exercise; that means after intense squatting with weight across the back, we lay on our backs and do chest presses.  I think it’s awesome.  What I really love about Body Pump is that I have someone to watch so I can constantly correct my form.  I also started seeing results within two weeks.  I took several inches off my arms from doing Body Pump, and my arms are one of my biggest problem areas.  I don’t think I ever would have started weight training without this class; I certainly never would have walked into that free weight room at the gym and started lifting by myself.  I would have had no idea what to do!  Now that I know what to do, I could do weights on my own, but again, I love the classroom environment, so Body Pump is for me.  I really wish my gym held other Les Mills classes because I’ve looked them all up and they all look amazing!

3.  Yoga/Power Yoga: Yoga is one of those things that is just really simply good for you and there are modifications for pretty much every pose, so even the most basic beginners should be able to do yoga and feel good afterward.  When I first started going to the gym, spinning and yoga were the only two classes I went to.  They both really helped me build my weak little muscles into muscles that could take on heavier work, like Body Pump.  I kind of fell out of yoga for awhile because I got so focused on doing “harder” things, but I missed it and went back at the beginning of this year, then I wondered why I ever stopped going.  After my 5k last month I prevented shin splints by going to yoga after the race.  When I’m aching from one of the “harder” classes, yoga helps heal my muscles immediately–better and more quickly than a day off from exercising.  Yoga has also helped me with my balance (I’m not known for my gracefulness) and it’s helped me deal with my stress better.  Power Yoga is just a faster version of yoga.  I enjoy both.

Gentlemen also enjoy yoga. This position is called "plow." No joke.

4.  Interval/Circuit Training (Next Level): At my gym, this class is called Next Level because it really does bring you to the next level of fitness.  It’s 30 minutes of interval training.  There are usually four stations, two exercises per station, 30 seconds on, 10 seconds off and we go around the circuit twice.  Sometimes that switches up a little bit–yesterday the trainer made us do each exercise four times instead of two on the second round–but it’s generally 4-2-2.  I sweat more in Next Level than I do in all of my other classes combined.  It combines cardio and strength and it’s just so efficient.  I love efficiency, and of course, I love the structure.  There are new exercises every time–we do things like mountain climbers (ugh), jumpsquats, and high steps, we use kettleballs, weights, TRX, weighted balls (hehehe), and sometimes we even use sandbags.  There’s always something different and some new different muscle aches the day after every Next Level session I put in, which is a good thing.  If your gym has any kind of interval/circuit training and you’re looking to really push yourself or get out of a plateau, give it a try.  You’ll definitely see results quickly.

5.  Cardio Strength: I don’t always love this class–this is another one that really depends on the instructor.  As you might expect, Cardio Strength combines cardio and strength, much like Next Level, but you stay stationed in one spot for the most part and the class is usually 45 minutes to an hour.  I prefer the efficiency of Next Level, but there are days when Cardio Strength is in a better time slot for me.  It’s like a longer, yet lesser version of Next Level, but it certainly burns calories and builds strength, so when I have to, I go.

6.  Pilates: When I first started going to the gym I tried to go to pilates a few times and it just felt so hard.  I guess now that I’ve built up so much strength I’m able to appreciate it more, because I just started going again and I’m enjoying it so much more than I did the first time around.  Pilates focuses on using core muscles to work on strength and flexibility.  It’s mostly done on the floor, on a yoga mat, and it’s another one that puts those little often-ignored muscles to work.

So, those are the main workouts that I do in the gym.  I also try to fit in brisk walks when I can.  I run when I’m 5k training.  The classes, though, have changed the way I view going to the gym. I really think it’s just a matter of finding what you like.  My workout buddy, Chiara, hates spinning and loves Zumba.  Of course, she naturally has rhythm and never looks like a drunk Oompa Loompa when she does those dance workouts.

If you find the thought of running on a treadmill or plugging away mindlessly on an elliptical or recumbent bike absolutely depressing (which I do), please give classes a try.  There are gyms with reasonable rates (or you may be able to get a discount through your workplace) and there are yoga studios everywhere that offer reasonable packages.  The group setting tends to be really helpful and after awhile you start recognizing people.  You might even make some friends!

Or, you know, you can just make like Augustus Gloop and throw yourself into a river of chocolate to test out your swimming skills.  Good luck with that.

"Whoops."-Augustus Gloop

Working It Out: Goals For March

I don’t mean to be hateful, because I know it’s snowing pretty much everywhere else in the United States right now, but…

Ah, Florida in February. But what's going on with my hair?

And yeah, Mark is definitely naked.  So is that portly man in the background.  Thanks, Playa Linda Lot 13!

This is one of the best times of year for us because it’s not awkwardly cold (most of us don’t have proper winter clothing and we freeze when it’s like, 50 degrees) and it’s not yet so unberably  hot and humid that you can’t breathe when you walk outside. But don’t worry–I’ll pay a hefty price for gloating about beach weather in February and March come July when I’m plagued by hot rain (yes, boiling rain pours from the sky like Satan’s piss) and chub rub.

Anyway, the point of all that is that I started my beach-going extra early this year by having the first beach trip of 2011 start on the second to last day in February.  It was a great way to kick off March and it set a great tone for all of the upcoming naked beach trips we’ll have this summer.

I don’t get naked.  Look at how cute my bathing suit is!  I can’t take that off!

Along with fun and sun come my new goals for March!  But first, a quick recap of how I did in February:

I resolved to eat more protein and fewer carbs, and boy oh boy did I do it.  By dropping 15 years of vegetarianism in favor of bacon, tuna, chicken, turkey, shrimp, and other meaty delights, I definitely accomplished this goal.  I haven’t any soy since I started eating meat again and my intake of carbs and sugar has dropped dramatically and fairly painlessly.  I’ve still been carbing a little on the weekends, but I’ve been offsetting with things like running a 5k followed by spinning, yoga, and helping friends move.  Overall I feel a HUGE difference in my ability to complete endurance workouts and to repair afterward and there’s definitely been a difference in my energy levels.

My next goal was to introduce more gentle workouts, which I accomplished by going back to regular old Friday night yoga with a guy named Rich who teaches the most soothing yoga class ever.  I really like him and his yoga class, even though getting to the gym by 6 pm on Friday nights is a challenge.  I was SO sore from a Wednesday spin and interval training combo last week that I felt like the Tin Man all day on Thursday and Friday, but after Rich’s yoga on Friday evening I was all fixed up.  One hour and I was cured.  I did yoga after my 5k on Saturday to prevent shin splints and sure enough, I was shin splintless come Sunday morning.  Moral of the story.  Do yoga.  It’s good for you.

My third goal was to unplug by 11 pm on weeknights.  I kind of sort of tried to do this.  A few nights I actually did do it.  I read In Defense of Food in a week by doing this.  Some nights I slipped up though.  I tend to get really productive at night, so on days when I felt especially sluggish during the day, I tried to get stuff done at night.  Whoops.  You win some, you lose some.

My last goal was to give myself more time in the morning.  That one was another fail, although to my credit I did do it a few times.  Like, twice maybe?  I don’t know what my deal is.  I have no concept of time.  Blame math. That’s what I do.

Onto the March goals!

"About fucking time."

Goal #1: Learn how to cook new things: With meat comes questions.  I have lots of questions about meat.

My friends keep laughing at me for asking simple questions about meat. I’ve been blowing up Facebook asking for advice about how to cook things.  The lady cashing me out at Publix laughed at me for being on my phone asking a friend what to do with the chicken breasts when I got them home.  Google laughed at me for Googling “how to cook a chicken breast.” And that’s fine.  Y’all can make fun.  But I’m learning!

Exhibit A: Salmon with lemon and butter sauce

Exhibit B: MOTHERFUCKING STEAK

Exhibit C: Lemon Pepper Chicken

Okay, so I had to cut into that chicken a lot to make sure it was cooked all the way through.  BFD. But it was good.  And sorry about my shitty phone pics.  I couldn’t find my camera for a few days.  Anyway, so far I’m doing really well and I’ve been more impressed with my own cooking than I have been by restaurants.  As evidenced by these photos, I also ate a shit ton of asparagus in the last two weeks.  Last night I made spicy orange garlic shrimp that was so good I think I could get someone to propose to me by serving it. Recipe forthcoming.  So, in March I will continue to learn how to cook different meats in different ways and I’ll also do my reading on meat prep safety.  Safety first!

Goal #2: Stretch before and after workouts: Since I almost always go to workout classes I always get a little stretch in the beginning and a little in the end with the rest of the class, but I could do more on both ends and I think it would make a big difference in how I feel afterward.  I’m going to shoot for getting to the gym a few minutes before my classes to stretch properly and to stick around after class to get some extra stretch.  Stretching feels good!

Goal #3: Try some new gym classes: I’m definitely loyal to my spinning, Body Pump, yoga, power yoga, and Next Level interval training classes, but my body is really used to those workouts now.  It’s high time I started trying a few different things just to switch it up.  I went to a different kind of Cardio Strength class the other day and while I definitely wasn’t even close to coordinated enough to keep up, I felt some soreness in different muscles the next day.  Change is good. I’m going to shoot for one new class a week in addition to my regularly scheduled programming.

Goal #4: No TV as background noise: Speaking of regularly scheduled programming, I’m banning turning on the TV when I’m not actually watching something that I want and plan to watch.  Since I live alone I often turn it on just to have background noise while I’m cooking, cleaning, or working on my computer, but it’s nothing but a distraction and it jumbles my train of thought.  I’ve already been banning TV during the day when I work from home and I’ve been having a much easier time getting things done.  Pandora and iTunes provide much better background noise and I’m not getting sucked into SVU and House reruns that I’ve already seen.

So that’s March for me.  What are your goals for March?  What are your favorite meats and favorite cooking methods?  Do you stretch before and after your workouts?  Do you use the TV as background noise?  Have you tried any new classes lately?  Tell me what you got!

Working It Out: My First 5k

So, I ran my first 5k this weekend and I didn’t finish last, I didn’t puke, and I didn’t die!  Based on all of these things, I pretty much won.

Truth.

I was all ready for it.  I picked up my packet the day before, I downloaded some terrible, yet well-paced music and synced my ipod, I went to a nice hour-long yoga session to stretch loosen up, I carbo-loaded (which was the real reason I signed up for a race in the first place) and I even went to bed at a (fairly) reasonable hour, at least for me.  I woke up on time in the morning, got myself ready, ate some breakfast, and sauntered on over to the race.

But, uh, here’s the thing.  I was a little late.

So, listen.  I SWEAR the lady who gave me my packet, T-shirt, and instructions told me to BE THERE at 8 am.  Turns out, she told me the race started at 8.  I showed up at about 8: 05 am and the race had already started. 

.

Whoops.

This was pretty typical of me.  I am not known for my punctuality (which is a major fault that I’m well aware I need to work on) and I really should have double checked the time the night before, but I didn’t, so the joke was on me.  By the time I pinned my number on and got my bearings 10 minutes had already gone by and there were no racers in sight.  I didn’t even know which way to go and the people working the event weren’t really keen on giving me directions or telling me what to do.  No one wants to help the one asshole who was late.  But then, miraculously, a group of runners came around the corner, so I just sprinted to where they were and joined the race!

If only the people at my race were this helpful

Once I was in there, I just followed the other racers and made my way around the track.  The race was actually being held at my alma mater, so I was familiar with the layout and took off.  I kind of alternated between jogs, sprints, and quick walks.  When I was training, I got myself to be able to do the 3.1 miles in about 35-40 minutes at a steady pace with no stopping, which was a pretty huge accomplishment for me because I’m definitely not a runner.  However, I did the bulk of my training on a treadmill in an air-conditioned gym.  Running on uneven pavement in the Florida sun is a bit of a different story.  I had a hard time keeping a steady pace, but I did okay.  I ended up passing the finish line at 31.54, which is great–better than I expected!  Of course, since I joined the race 10 minutes late and just jumped in when I saw people, I don’t think I actually ran the full race.  After the race was over and I got that time, I realized that I must have jumped into the beginning of the line when everyone else had already been running for about 10 minutes.  My true time was probably closer to 41:54, which is exactly what I was expecting.

Pictured: Line Cutter

So, my first 5k wasn’t exactly how I planned it to be, but I’m definitely not sorry I did it.  After I passed the finish line I kind of felt like throwing up, but I didn’t, so that was a huge success. Since I suspected that I skipped the line I felt like it would be prudent of me to pay penance by going to the gym after the race, so I went and did 45 minutes of spinning and an hour of power yoga, then I went home and cleaned my house.  Later on, I helped my best friend move the last of the stuff from her apartment to her new house.  I did all of this because I’m completely insane.  By the end of the day I had technically done four workouts equaling to about 3.5 hours of pretty sweaty work.

Then I had a cupcake.

All in all, it was a good experience.  I’ll definitely do another one and next time I’ll even show up on time.

Maybe.

Working It Out: House Flipping

There are a lot of rules for best friendship, most of them unspoken.  For example:

1.  Always be honest with your best friend (on her wedding day, my best friend, Miranda, demanded that someone find me to tell her if her hair looked stupid or not because she knew I was the only person who would tell her the truth.)

2.  Be a shoulder to cry on (we’ve done plenty of that.)

3.  Eat cupcakes together (we’ve done plenty of that, too.)

4.  Don’t thwart weight-loss efforts by insisting on cupcake-eating during times of weight-watching (no pressure.)

5.  Hate boys who are mean to us (when Miranda gets a few drinks in her there’s no telling what she’ll say to guys who have crossed me…and, uh, there have been a few.)

6.  Wear funny disguises together.

Check.

And one of the most important rules is this: when your best friend moves, you’ve gotta help out.

So, my best friend and her husband just bought their first house (woo!) and it needed a little work.  By a little, I mean the entire inside of the house, including the baseboards and door frames needed to be painted, the floor in the kitchen needed to be redone, major cleaning needs to be done, and major landscaping needs to be done.  They got a deal though and it is a cute house with tons of potential.  So, I spent the entire weekend helping them out by painting until my hands bled.  I’m a super painter, so I’ve pretty much stuck to that for this entire renovation while others have worked on other projects.  In two and a half days the house looks completely different and looks about 40 years younger than it originally looked.

Bonus: Painting is a GREAT workout!

I ran three miles on Sunday morning to get some cardio in, but all of the bending, squatting, moving, lifting, and paint-stroking has done wonders for some of the smaller muscles in my arms and glutes that don’t normally get worked out during my regular routines.  Luckily, since I do plenty of weight and interval training, I’m in good enough shape that I don’t feel the devastating soreness that I used to get from painting a room (everyone else who has been painting this weekend is feeling it) but I have some pleasant soreness from all of the hard work I put in this weekend.  Additionally, it’s nice to see immediate results from that kind of hard work.  Put in 100 squats and get a beautifully painted room!

The moral of the story is if you’re in shape already, helping a friend out doesn’t hurt, but even if you’re not in shape it’s your duty to help and it’s okay because you’ll get a sweet workout in while you’re doing it.  Then, when you’re finished helping, you can eat all their food and drink all their beer.

Mazel tov, Joey and Miranda!

Jobless? Go Work Out.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but a lot of people are unemployed these days.

Whatchoo talkin' bout, Willis?

Source.

I know, I know, but it’s totally true.  The unemployment rate in the United States is currently around 9.1%, and it’s 12.2% in Florida, which is where I live.

Welcome to Florida! Hope you're here to retire, because you're sure as shit not going to get a job!

I was laid off from a job I’d had for 5 years in 2008.  I got the job when I was 19 years old, worked my way up in the company, paid for college out of pocket (after scholarships), and they were reimbursing me for my graduate classes.  I had actually decided to stay in Orlando and go to the same college for grad school partially BECAUSE that job was paying for the classes.  They let me and all of my coworkers/friends go with no pomp and circumstance.  The company was cutting costs and we were the first of many to go.  We finished out the month, got our severance checks, and I found myself unemployed with a Bachelor’s degree in English, a full graduate course load, and really no idea what to do with myself.  I applied for as many jobs as I possibly could every day and that was really all I could do.  That’s really all you CAN do when you’re unemployed and looking for a job in a saturated market. You apply for jobs and you sit.  And you wait.  And wait.

Now, people obviously get really depressed when they’re out of work, are unable to pay bills, and are constantly being asked “how’s the job search going?”   Seriously, fuck people who ask how your job search is going. I know how this is.  I’ve been there.  You can easily fall into a rut and sit around eating boxes of macaroni and cheese and ramen noodles and potatoes, because that’s all you can afford, but one way to get out of the rut or even stave off the rut before it happens is to exercise.

Research has proven that exercise helps fight and treat depression. When I was unemployed I started working out every day, and while it certainly didn’t help all of my problems, it definitely helped me from being in a complete funk.  I’d wake up, work out, then apply for jobs for the rest of the day.  It gave me a reason to get up in the morning and it got me out of the house. I live in a condo complex with a little gym, so I was able to use that, but exercising outside is free.  Depending on where you are, there are lots of outdoor activities that you can do that cost you virtually nothing.   Few things are as depressing as being stuck inside all day with nothing to do and no one to talk to, and nothing is worse than being a jobless bum and feeling like a jobless bum.

Unless you're my cat, Gideon. Then your life rules and being a jobless bum is your job.

If you’re currently unemployed it might worth your while to think of this as an opportunity to get into a good exercise routine. You’ve got the time, after all.  Start slow and work your endurance and stamina up so when you get a job you’re not a mealy ball of miserable dough and so you can blow your paychecks on a sweet gym membership and new workout gear.

Working It Out: Bring A Friend

You know what vacations, being sick, and knee injuries do to you?  They make working out way harder than it has to be. The occurrence of one of these three things is usually what makes a regular exerciser “fall off the wagon,” so to speak.

In the last few weeks, I’ve had all three happen.  Oh, and the freaking holidays don’t help either.

Despite all these roadblocks, I’ve been sticking to my regular gyming schedule (save for the few days I was bedridden and about three days to give my knee a freaking break.)  It’s hard to go back after taking a few days off, especially when I’ve been SO consistent for the whole year, but I did it!  And I even brought friends.

Last week my friend Irene sent me a message asking if she could join me at the gym one day, to which I happily obliged.  Irene came to Les Mills Body Pump and worked it out with me.

Irene, if she were a mouse.

We had a good time.  As you know, I love having a workout buddy.  I was a little shaky going back to my routine after my illness and some knee issues, but having Irene come try something new gave me the motivation I needed to feel good about my workout again.

Since I got a good boost from bringing Irene to Body Pump with me, I invited my friend Amanda to join me in spinning and Next Level training, and she came along, despite her sore muscles from a boot camp class she’s been doing.  Again, I got another boost from having a friend be open to new things and join me in my sweaty out-of-breath glory.

So, if you find that you’re feeling a little blah in your workouts lately, if you’re off track and finding excuses to skip workouts, try having a friend who has never tried a certain class or exercise tag along with you and you’ll instantly feel re-energized and motivated.  There’s just something about having the support and being the support that really helps you kick it back in gear.

Besides, everything is more fun with a friend.